So it occurred to me that selling Bleecker Mountain Stone Wall Kits (patent pending) may not appeal to everyone. After all, having a five yard dump truck deposit a 10,000 pound load in one's driveway may be a little intimidating to the uninitiated. So I've created The Bleecker Mountain Rock Of The Month Club.
For a nominal fee, a subscriber will be sent one specially selected Bleecker Mountain Rocktm once a month, selected by an expert in the field. Rocks would be selected by color, type (mainly igneous with a few metamorphic), size, and shape to be aesthetically pleasing when assembled together as a set.
Bleecker Mountain Rockstm are versatile. Many are used for Bleecker Mountain Stone Walls (patent pending) of course, but they have many other uses. You can use them as paper weights, edging for your garden, blocking a tire when jacking up a car, aquarium decorations, or putting in your toilet's tank to save water. The possibilities are endless. There is no product on the market today more versatile than Bleecker Mountain Rockstm.
Bleecker Mountain Rockstm are tough, too. They are, on average, a few billion years old. Yes, that's right. Billion, with a B. They've survived ice ages, glaciers, dinosaurs, and Obamacare. What other product can you buy that can make that claim? And best of all, Bleecker Mountain Rockstm are 100% American made! Each Bleecker Mountain Rocktm comes with a certificate of authenticity.
So you're thinking "Sign me up, Dave! But wait. What does it cost?"
Hah. I'm glad you asked. That's the best part. If you come to Bleecker Mountain and pick the rock yourself, with the guidance of one of our rock experts, there is no charge whatsoever. We do this as a customer service because we care about our community. If you'd like us to select and ship a Bleecker Mountain Rocktm to you, you pay only for shipping and a nominal handling charge of $10 per month, charged to your credit card on our automatic payment plan.
Quantities are limited, so order yours today!
That all you could come up with today? Come on Dave, we're just getting to the good part. Where Earl is going to dynamite those "Big-Ass" rocks in the foundation hole.
ReplyDeleteProd him along a little more... Tell him, "we don't them in the way any longer"... Inquiring minds want to see how it's done.
I've been saving the big-ass rocks for you. When can you come pick them up?
DeleteI need your address for the shipment of "Beautiful Red Okie Dirt/Clay" Dave. Will look terrific with all those Friggin Rocks! When the dogs roll around in it you'll suddenly have Irish Setters!
ReplyDeleteWell that's one way to get your rocks off!
ReplyDeleteBut Bob-- He just wants his rocks to Go Away!! I could make another comment but this is a family Blog...
ReplyDeleteNo Dave-- I will not be joining the rock of the month club... Good idea though... Maybe you should try Ebay or Craigs List to sell your rocks on... Hay-- The Pet Rock did very well back in it's time...
You might have a niche here with your Bleecker Mountain Rocks-- Nobody else has them for sale!!